Subterraneanista

For the last few years I have had this project in the fire (perhaps more accurately described as on my back, over my head, or around my neck). Underground is a documentary I started making in 2003 during my time in New York, and I made a few return trips to El Manzana Grande to do more filming and get more material for the final project. However, active work on the film effectively stopped maybe a year or more ago, owing to good ol' laziness and lack of motivation on my part, and the raw footage sat catalogued and labeled in my armoir for all that time, waiting for me to finally pick up the flag and finish what I started.

Well... I'm starting to finish, finally. The Mrs. and I had quite a substantial row recently, the result of which (among other things) is that I realized I've always had this non-motivated aspect to myself, and it's not really who I'd like to be and, more importantly, just kind of a shit quality to have. It's really cute and all to have life pass you by because you can't do anything about it, but at the end of the day you're just some real shit dude that ain't been doing much of anything for the past few years. You wake up one day and look around and the things you should be proud of aren't there, they haven't been there since high school. And you're twenty-three, then the next day you're twenty-five, then the next day you're thirty then you're fifty and then you're dead and the whole time you were waiting for the thing that was going to make you do something, anything to pull you out of it.

Well, my girlfriend is that for me.

So I'm going through the tapes, methodically, and mapping out a narrative I'm going to be piecing together chronicling the adventures of Sho and myself in New York, and the progress each of us make, and the folly of misguided youth, etc. It's looking really good so far. I don't know if it's just my own biased perception, but I don't understand why student films look so shitty all the time. I shot this thing with a little Canon Elura on DV with incident lighting and rampant conditions. Even in the scenes when the camera can't focus because it's too dark, the shot still looks fascinating and actually fits snugly in the context of the film that's forming around the existing material as I go through it.

There now only lies Chapman to conquer, as I feel a deep need to insinuate myself, aggresively if necessary, into the recognized filmmakers of geniu circle, as I've seen the crap that the existing incumbents produce. I feel it necessary to begin asserting myself, to show myself for what I am among them, and to denounce them as the hacks and phillistines that they are. Call me elitist, call me a snob, these people aren't all that great, and they're winning awards and gaining fame and accolades for putting a peanut shell in front of a camera for fifteen minutes.

Damn it.

So the film's looking good, I only hope I have the courage to finish the film in the way that it should be finished. That'll make more sense once the thing's done.

Also, registering for classes is getting to be a litle difficult as I get down to the nitty gritty of what I need to take in order to qualify for ding-dang graduation. I'm a little worried about just what I'm going to have to do in order to make this whole "college" thing work out, but hopefully it'll all come together.

I'm taking it seriously, that's all I know.

I may be going to Colorado for ten days in January... we'll see