Elevation
My roads are slightly brighter now, as they stretch off into whatever life I'm going to eventually end up in. I never take things for granted, and for the past year or so, due to certain circumstances, I've been assuming things would be pretty bleak even in the best chances. There was a while I would have been happy had I managed to avoid ever having to live in Riverside (if there is a hell on earth, surely, this is it). Today I recieved word I will be attending Chapman University. Things are looking up.
And so it falls to me to decide exactly what I plan to do with my higher education. For the longest time (since exiting high school), I've been laboring under the assumption that I'm a film major. I love film. I love movies. Sure, you can't swing a dead cat in Southern California without hitting an aspiring filmmaker, but it's what I love and it's what I want. In addition, I've always felt that education could serve to learn more about film, but not necessarily aid in my skills at making films. I've focused on Film Studies, which I think I learn a lot more from than I would by studying how to work a camera. I make enough movies on my own (current slump notwithstanding) and don't need any further instruction on my method, lest my vision be affected by outside influence. That doesn't sound elitist. AT ALL.
Recently, though, I've begun realizing that perhaps majoring in film isn't in my best interest. After all, the job market out there isn't much for a film major, regardless of my plans for MFA-status and subsequent-teaching-job. I'd love to be a professor of film, but it worries me, the idea of getting into and through a master's program... and even beyond to a doctorate (O dream of dreams). Maybe a degree in zoology would suit me better. Physical anthropology. Biological science has always interested me, perhaps it's time I put childish things behind me and get serious about the future.
Thing is, I don't really feel that studying film, especially now, is a childish thing. I've said this plenty of times before, but I feel that the pursuit of art is the highest form of human achievement, and that film is the highest form of art, and I can't think of anything more important, in the existential sense, than following in my passion for film. Especially in an age like this, with so much importance being impressed upon insubstantial values and priorities, there have to be those of us that choose to walk a path of personal value, of greater importance.
Yeah, there's not much security in what I want to do, but the pursuit of it is so much more important than assurance. It's better to fail at this than to succeed at something else. I won't be giving up on my goals anytime soon. It may be the road less traveled, but it's the best road I could imagine.
FUCK UCLA!
And so it falls to me to decide exactly what I plan to do with my higher education. For the longest time (since exiting high school), I've been laboring under the assumption that I'm a film major. I love film. I love movies. Sure, you can't swing a dead cat in Southern California without hitting an aspiring filmmaker, but it's what I love and it's what I want. In addition, I've always felt that education could serve to learn more about film, but not necessarily aid in my skills at making films. I've focused on Film Studies, which I think I learn a lot more from than I would by studying how to work a camera. I make enough movies on my own (current slump notwithstanding) and don't need any further instruction on my method, lest my vision be affected by outside influence. That doesn't sound elitist. AT ALL.
Recently, though, I've begun realizing that perhaps majoring in film isn't in my best interest. After all, the job market out there isn't much for a film major, regardless of my plans for MFA-status and subsequent-teaching-job. I'd love to be a professor of film, but it worries me, the idea of getting into and through a master's program... and even beyond to a doctorate (O dream of dreams). Maybe a degree in zoology would suit me better. Physical anthropology. Biological science has always interested me, perhaps it's time I put childish things behind me and get serious about the future.
Thing is, I don't really feel that studying film, especially now, is a childish thing. I've said this plenty of times before, but I feel that the pursuit of art is the highest form of human achievement, and that film is the highest form of art, and I can't think of anything more important, in the existential sense, than following in my passion for film. Especially in an age like this, with so much importance being impressed upon insubstantial values and priorities, there have to be those of us that choose to walk a path of personal value, of greater importance.
Yeah, there's not much security in what I want to do, but the pursuit of it is so much more important than assurance. It's better to fail at this than to succeed at something else. I won't be giving up on my goals anytime soon. It may be the road less traveled, but it's the best road I could imagine.
FUCK UCLA!
posted by DeadLanguage at 9:59 PM
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