You have failed me for the last time, Internet

I happened to catch the first half of the Andy Milonakis show, the newest "someone-else's-brainchild" co-opted by MTV, and apart from many of the skits which I found very humorous, I really, really enjoyed Andy's freestylesque theme song (sung, of course, by himself). MTV contends that they found this guy in New York just making these videos by himself in his apartment, and their sheer eccentricity drove them to giving the boy a show. Couple of things:

1) Andy Milonakis looks twelve. I don't know how old he is or, indeed, if he is subject to the same laws of time as we are.

2) You would not think, looking at him, that a person like that would be able to have an apartment on his own either through hitch of age, ability, or mental deficiency.

3) Milonakis. Greek. Excellent.

Anyway, like I was saying, I was really enamored with the theme song. Thing is, I could scarcely remember any of it past the first few lines, which I will now commit to digital paper.

"I got peas on my head, but don't call me pea-head,
Got bees on my head, but don't call me bee-head,
Bruce Lee's on my head, but don't call me a Lee-head,
Something, something, something, I gotta get my tree fed."

At which point, he feeds the tree, by pouring food into its pot. It's brilliant.

Actually, this isn't true. I couldn't even remember the "tree fed" line, my brother had to tell me that one, and we can't even remember the first part of it. This, of course, brings me to my major complaint about the whole experience which, with the third use of a colon in only one post, is this:

I was unable to find the full, complete lyrics to the Andy Milonakis show theme song on the whole of the Internet.

The show's been out for four days now, it's been repeated at least four times. By now, somewhere in this vast ether of bullshit, someone should have been able to transcribe the theme, word for word... but there was not one, not one person, who had done so.

Internet, I ask little of you, but when I want to learn the real words behind some bullshit rap theme and you refuse to assist me... well, that's just too much.

You are not the Internet anymore, Internet. From now on... you are merely... FOURTH COLON:

The internet.

Now find me those damn lyrics.

A dark day for our loyal readers.