Ode to That Bird

Hey
Hey bird in my backyard
Don't land sideways on the back wall there.
On the rough brick
And stucco wall.
Don't.
Only lizards do that
And spiders
Not birds.
Hey bird
How do you think it makes me feel
Huh?
How do you think I feel
Seeing a bird all sideways
Like that
Not flying sideways
Like in the process of doing a barrel roll
(which, bird, would be cool)
But just chilling
Kicking it on my wall
Sideways.
How do you think I feel
When for a
brief
horrifying
moment
I think
there's a tarantula
on the wall
And begin compiling the
quickest
possible
strategy
for moving out?
How about gravity bird?
How about velcro feet?
Are there not enough trees for you
Around here?
Are there not enough
roofs
cacti
power lines
Around here?
Bird
Is there not enough top of the wall
Around here?
Hey bird
Bird.
Birds don't do that.

God damn it bird

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Bonus question: Am I waking up, or going to sleep?